All things CRANK

I remember seeing the first trailer for CRANK and saying to myself, "Wow...that looks like the stupidest movie ever made." And in a lot of ways, my prediction wasn't that far off. But I couldn't deny the concept. When it comes to an action film, there is no better plot line than CRANK. Hitman Chev Chelios is given a vicious Beijing Cocktail, which means if his adrenaline goes down...he dies. It's pretty much like SPEED, where if they stop the bus, it explodes. But in the world of CRANK, this means he must shoot people, start fights, get into car chases, and have sex JUST TO STAY ALIVE!

Seriously though, that may be the best premise for a shitty action film.

When I saw the trailer and premise, I was reminded what a shitty B-Movie actor Jason Statham had turned into. His Guy Ritchie films promised a new cinematic bad ass, but with movies like The Transporter (2 and 3 as well), he was quickly turning into Jean Claud Van Dame.

One night, while cooking Sin City Breakfast Tacos for the first time, I put on CRANK just to see how bad it really was. I was in the mood for a good/shitty movie, so I was ready to enjoy it. Now I don't know if it was my mood, the amazing breakfast tacos, or what...but I LOVED the film.

Yes, the plotline is stupid. The writing is pretty horrible. The performances shouldn't be noticed by any Academy members. But god damnit, there was something pretty awesome about that film. I watched it a second time...I enjoyed it even more.

CRANK is to an action film the same way EVIL DEAD is to a horror film. It's stupid, but funny. It's shitty, but cool. But most of all...it is totally bad ass.

While watching the film, I couldn't help but feel that it may be the best edited film I've seen since...well...Guy Ritchie. There is no denying the directors, Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor have incredible chops and are completely visionary. YEAH! VISIONARY! While there may be a difference between the visions of Cameron or Speilberg and Neveldine and Taylor, there is no denying their originality. These two dudes are basically punk rock film makers. They clearly don't give a f**k about anyone and just want to make a movie that kicks the most amount of ass possible.

But they really are innovative. They made split screens artistic and creative! Throughout the film, Chev is talking on his cell phone with other people. Instead of simply splitting the screen in half, they do CRANK split screens. They project the other person on passing billboards, walls, even Chev's rear view mirror. It's AWESOME!

Edgar Wright (Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz) stated in the Creative Screenwriter's Podcast that watching Bad Boys II was such a better experience than watching The Matrix: Reloaded, because Bad Boys II wasn't pretenious and serious and simply set out to be a spectacle. That is exactly how I felt about CRANK compared to Bad Boys II (and I love BBII).

If you haven't seen CRANK, I highly recommend it. Yes...it's stupid. Yes...it's dumb. But the editing, the creativness, and some really kick ass action on a little budget is extremely entertaining. You need to see it before CRANK 2: High Voltage.

In the sequel, Chev must track down the Chinese mobster who has stolen his indestructable heart (YES!). You can't make this up...oh wait...THEY DID! Remember how I was saying Neveldine and Taylor were punk rockers? Yeah, well they're shooting the sequel with a couple of consumer handycams that you can buy at Best Buy.

I'm telling you, these guys are the most interesting filmmakers since Robert Rodriguez. With GAME (starring Gerard Butler and Michael C. Hall and shot with the Red camera) set to come out, they are definitely worth paying attention to.